Oh sorry, is my anger inconvenient to your narrative?
We know it's not all men - but we also know that it's quite a few of our so-called comrades.
I went viral on Twitter during the response to Sarah Everard’s awful killing. There isn’t an aspect of that story that isn’t horrific. But on the other hand it was another dead woman. And as Jess Phillips proved during the International Women’s Day debate in Parliament there are a lot of those.
I think what made this case catch the energy of women was a combination of the timing - She went missing shortly before IWD and her body was found just after it - but also the circumstances. I don’t just mean who the suspect is. That’s a different conversation for a different day. I mean that she did everything right. She did everything the way you’re supposed to. Sticking to main roads, wearing bright clothes. Calling her boyfriend along the way. All those so-called safety tips.
So what does any of this have to do with men on the left? Well, while we know that not all men on the left are the ones we have to watch out for, like in every other area of our lives, we absolutely do not know which men on the left are.
Actually, that’s not strictly true. Quite often we do know. We talk to each other. We know that one tried to sleep with an incredibly drunk teenager; this one hit his former girlfriend; that one can’t be left alone with the interns; this one will literally just stare at your tits for your entire conversation; that one is a groper.
And we don’t - or can’t do anything about it. We follow the code of silence. If you want a career in politics, you don’t rock the boat.
And even then, having done everything “right” it doesn't mean it will save you as a woman. Because you will still be described by a senior male colleague as “the teeth and tits”; your colleagues will compare which of you has the best tits while you both work in a public policy body; You will have to navigate the famous man and his famous appetites for junior colleagues; You will have to smile and nod as your boss gives you an incredibly inappropriate (not so) Secret Santa gift.
And even as you navigate all this, you will still be policed. You will be told not to speak of your body and how it is a key factor in your oppression (I’m both menstruating and menopausing at the moment - and it’s giving me a lot to say about bodies); you will be told not to question the behaviour of those in your faction, but just to vote for them any way; you will be made to feel guilty for insisting on making a fuss about that mate of your mate who has a decades long history of sexism.
There are two factors in politics that exacerbate all this and the soft left is no less guilty of them than anyone else: Tribalism and power.
Tribalism is what leads to the omerta. We don’t turn on our own. Power and wanting to be adjacent to it and have more of it means that we don’t take the side of the less powerful person. Now tell me - is that likely to the be the man or the woman? Yeah. See.
And it goes on and on and on. From the little things like the roles we’re expected to do (could you be Vice Chair? Could you be Secretary (and do all the work)) to the things we aren’t allowed to say. To the men we are supposed to put up with because their reach will give us more clout to the things we aren’t supposed to say about those men.
And it won’t stop. Why would it when those it benefits are in charge? When the scandal of sexual harassment in the Labour Party barely gets a look in? When the promises of action wither on the vine? When every man in every faction knows they know someone, something. Thier silence is complicity but so is ours.
So we speak out. And we find out.
We find ourselves invited to speak less. Consulted less. Radical men are platformed everywhere. Radical feminists are no platformed.
And the answer doesn’t just lie in more women speaking up. It lies in more people - men and women - listening when they do. Radically listening. Not wondering how much cache you’ll get for screaming back “burn the witch”.
But I don’t believe this will happen. Because we’ve been talking about this a long time now. And all we get is equal parts condemnation, commisseration and silencing.
So for now, I am going to be angry. And I am going to be angry about what it’s like being a woman on the left. I was angry about that when I was a younger woman navigating the perils of Westminster life. I am angrier about it now as a middle aged woman who is coming to terms with not giving a fuck any more.
And sometimes my anger boils over - and that gets me into trouble. Because I forget to be quiet. I forget to be sensible. I forget to be a good girl. I become difficult - a problem to be dealt with not a woman to be listened to. My anger is too unattractive - and who listens to an unattractive woman?
No really - who? Becuase until someone does. Nothing will change.
What I’ve been up to
I’ve written a play. Not this week obviously! It’s been a passion project for around a year now. But I am really proud of it and at the stage trying to raise funding to stage it, which I will be doing this summer. So if you fancy not buying me a coffee so much as helping me achieve a long term ambition please consider giving what you can.
I wrote about the response to the Sarah Everard case for The Article.
I was also a signatory to this open letter calling for action on male violence.
We released an episode of the Zeitgeist Tapes on The Stepford Wives (a film I love).
And I was on Midatlantic talking about the US minimum wage and the budget.
I was also interviewed by Birkbeck where I did my masters a couple of years ago which was rather lovely.
Reading List
Really interesting deep dive piece from Sian Norris in Byline Times about the links between some radical feminists and the radical right. Never, ever a good idea.
I am very much enjoying Rachel Reeves’ second wind. She’s always been a more thoughtful and interesting politician than the characature of her suggested. Here’s a piece in the New Statesman that I loved about the need for Labour to have and give the nation a new narrative.
Questions, comments and arguments are very welcome. Insults will get you summarily blocked on every platform that no longer hosts Donald Trump. I’m at emmaburnell@gmail.com or on Twitter (far too often) at @EmmaBurnell_.